Postcards
by snake screamer
Summary: Got the idea from the facebook page. The krieglin aren't mine they belong to Red Witch (Who also provided a scene)
Krieglin belong to Red Witch

Pam and Ray were currently eating lunch in the agency.

"You know, beside the wardrobe and scene change, i am reminded alot about our old job, specifically the not doing it." Pam said

"The only true difference is that now Cyril is joining Mallory in the shouting at us matches." Ray noted

"Yeah... btw how long are you staying in that wheelchair anyway?" Pam said

"I am not getting up till we get work. if i am going to be disable again i want it to be at least work related instead of doing it a lollygagging matter, cause then it adds a humiliation factor it."

"Lollygagging?"

"I have a word of the day calendar now, sue me."

"Guys, guys." a familiar voice said.

"Sigh what is it Archer." Ray said as he saw both him and Lana enter the room

"You got to check out these postcards I made with the whole happy family. It show us adapting quite well to LA." Archer said

"Whole family? I only see you, Lana and AJ? Where Mallory?" Pam said

"I said Happy, key word right their." Archer said.

"She also refuse to go to the tar pit and said if she wanted to see Hot tar she would look at the highway." Lana sighed.

"Well yeah, that too." Archer admitted

Ray paid close attention to the pic and did a doubletake.

"Wait... is your legs cover in tar?" Ray asked slightly incredulous

"Yep, hurt like hell, but at least the bucket list for that is done." Archer said

"What is it with your bucket list and nearly dying." Lana said annoyed

"Not all the things on it are that, though i admit theirs quite a few." Archer said

"Like what?" Pam asked

"Number 10, run with the bulls."

"Oh come on, everyone does that." Archer said annoyed

"24, steal back some of my stuff taken from my mother." Lana added

"gain, that one does show suicidal tendencies, and i didn't expect her to be drinking Absinthe when i went to retrieve my childhood but-."

"33, use our agency to bug Bionic Barry phoneline with who knows how many solicitor."

"Oh come on, that guy has so many enemy no way in hell he knows that one was cause by me." Archer said

(Sometime in the past)

"I don't know, but i blame archer for this series of events." Barry said as he and the KGB gather all solicitor to be sent to prison.

"You know you could have use our agency resources to just block your number permanently." Katya said

"Me and other barry agree this is more fun." Barry stated.

(Present)

"41-"

"41!" Pam interrupted "How long is this list?

"Pretty long." Archer admitted

"Btw why are you making post cards anyway?" Pam asked

"Werre sending one to Lana parents. This is her way of informing them she no longer in new york, and no longer in the spy business." Archer said

"Make sense, though even with the bucket list this seems kinda tame." Ray said

"That for her parents, these are the one i'm sending to the people that are still willing to talk to us in new york." Archer said revealing a post card of him and Lana driving a car with a bridge in the background. "Look how badass this pic is."

Ray gave Lana a look. "Oh don't give me that look, i seen the one you, Pam and Cheryl made." Lana said annoyed, referring to pam wearing a revealing outfit skating while Cheryl and Ray were in a van showing off its hydraulics.

"Good point." Ray sighed

"Yeah well at least our are sexy." Pam defended.

"Whatever, so wheres mother?"

"B*** about the no client thing."

"Seriously?" Archer said

"At least she not complaining about us ruining her life no more, now she just whining about how their no client yet."

"It barely been two weeks." Lana said

"To be fair, it does fit mother M.O. But she has to sucked it up for the agency to work, especially with the name."

"Ugh..." Lana, Ray and Pam sighed, they already heard about archer whining about the name.

"And you know that jerkish women refuse me on purpose!" Archer snapped.

FLASHBACK

Archer at the licensing office and was arguing vehemently with a women at a desk. "What do you mean being a spy doesn't qualify me for a PI's license! They're practically the same thing!"

"Yeah like anyone would hire you as a spy! And no they're not!"

"was so a spy! I was the world's greatest spy!" Archer snapped

The women rolled her eyes "You and fifty other guys that come in here every week, see." She finished by pointing at the back of the line. In line a guy named Stan Smith is arguing with an older man named Maxwell Smart over who was a better spy.

"At least I worked for a real agency! I mean seriously CONTROL, that sound like such a bad guy organization name."

"At least i have alot of nemesis to fight against and bond over, did you ever get a nemesis like that." Max said annoyed.

"Well... not precisely, he just became a neighbor that sorta drifted to the background... but my career is still better!"

"Oh yeah, if the CIA so good why are you in the business line"

"Cause the CIA fired me after Bullock was fire and Hawley took the position closest to him. Bullock may have been crazy but at least he knows good agents when he see them."

A older Sidney Bristow snorted "Yeah right, bullock was a freaking idiot. He let a alien escape area 51."

"Alot of alien escape that place. Also at least he didn't work with the alliance of twelve." Stan snapped

"Hey do you idiots mind? I am trying to fill out the paperwork for my detective agency." Sam Fisher said. back at the front.

"Wow, i had no idea that the spy business had such a huge turnover..." Archer blinked

"Secondly, who would hire you?" The women said as if showing archer that scene never occured.

Archer, startled, bleakly answered "Well my mother did."

Woman at the desk sighed as she muttered "That explains a lot..."

Flashback ended

"Okay A) all those other spy you mention were fictional in what i'm guessing was a attempt to keep the story from getting boring." Ray said

"Yeah, but the women at the desk thing was real." Archer said

"And b) you can't blame her for california law." Ray said

"Maybe not but she still was way too pigheaded." Archer grumbled

"Hey guys, can i get your opinion on my postcard." Krieger said entering the room.

"Krieger not now, can't you see were talking about-" Archer did a double take. "What the-"

"Holy s*** snack, yours is sexier then mine!" Pam said

"Who the hell are you making post cards too?" Lana asked

"The Krieglin. I need to rub their faces in it, plus i need them to get some of my Lab equipment from new york."

"Krieger the CIA has our building lockdown." Ray said annoyed. "We were lucky they let us have Milton."

"And i wouldn't call that lucky." Lana said

"So why would you think you'll get your stuff back?

"Yeah, but they don't have my apartment on lockdown." Krieger said.

(In new york)

"AGGHHH!" A Krieglin screamed in pain as it was set on fire.

"Why does he have a security system in his building, what derange lunatics would go to that place and steal his stuff!" Another Krieglin snapped angrily.

"Addams family?"

"... Okay besides them."

(In Los Angeles.)

Yep, any day now." Krieger said hopefully "Anywho i guess we all know who has the superior post card."

"Wait... were you purposely waiting to step in and show off your postcard?" Lana asked suspiciously

'Yes, yes I did and it was worth it." Krieger said "Anything to say Archer?... Archer?"

"he left a couple minute saying something bout surfing and one-upping Krieger." Pam said

"Damn!" Krieger swore. "Oh well... at least his will probably have something silly as he try to revive phrasing or something."


End file.
